June 14, 1989. The Ritz-Epps Fitness Center in Fort Bragg, North Carolina.
And so I come to Clash Of The Champions 7, the third 'Clash' of 1989 following on from the previous instalment in April. I'd never seen any of these earlier supercards, so it's been an enjoyable experience thus far (that bloody 27 minute Fantastics match aside).
We get a brief message before the show starts from General Stiner (note the name and spelling here), telling us it's the 214th birthday of the U.S Army whilst images of proud America flash on screen.
And we're off, Jim Ross and Bob Caudle welcome us to the event and inform the viewers that we have the semi-finals and final of a tag team tournament as well as a 'top ten contenders match' between Ricky Steamboat and Terry Funk to look forward to. Steamboat is the number one contender and Funk number ten, seems an odd point to keep hammering home and an odd way to bill the match to me but hey, that's the NWA for you. This COTC already feels different to the previous 6 I've sat through as this is the first that actually feels like a live event rather than being heavily edited later for home video release.
Dynamic Dudes VS The Fabulous Freebirds
The Dudes come to the ring first, introduced by their 'wipeout' theme song www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojl3Jnmnoyw, now this theme isn't exactly brilliant but I love how individual everyones and especially the tag teams of the day's entrance music was.
This is the event where the Freebirds were to unveil a new 3rd member of their team and as they make there way to the ring it is revealed that Jimmy Garvin is the new man joining Hayes and Gordy.
The 'birds have some serious heat with the crowd and are met by a chorus of boos and garbage being thrown in their direction (gotta love that NWA crowd). The Dynamic Dudes take early control of the match but the tables are soon turned in favour of the freebirds who again work the crowd into a frenzy of hate towards them, the freebirds we're brilliant at this, knowing exactly what to do and when to p*ss off the audience. The Dudes never fully recover or get back into the match and when Hayes hits a beauty of a DDT as the illegal man on Shane Douglas, Garvin is able to cover for the pin and The Freebirds are through to the tournament final. Decent start.
The Terrorist VS Ranger Ross
I have no idea who either of these are, but I imagine this is a once only appearance by The Terrorist (at least I hope so). This is basically a thinly veiled exercise in seeing the US Army beat on 'those foreign terrorists', and a chance for the patriotic crowd to chant 'USA' and 'Ranger' proudly. Jim Ross is clearly enthralled as he mentions something about wanting a Domino's Pizza at one point. Anyway, the match lasts a minute or so and Ranger Ross wins with the 'Combat Kick', sounds devastating right? It isn't, it's possibly the weakest kick I've ever seen, which despite Ross and Caudle claiming hits the terrorist 'square on the chin' actually seems to miss by about 3 feet.
Oh well it's a novelty bout, the next match will be better...
Next we have a promo video for the Road Warriors, and its AWESOME, this is how you make a team or a wrestler seem like a badass. Cool brooding heavy music (Black Sabbaths Iron Man) and clip after clip of the L.O.D ripping their opponents heads off, with stiff lariats and brawls in the crowd.
Great Muta and Gary Hart come to the ring next and there's talk of something called a Dragon Shai (spelling) match, I have no idea what that actually entails, I wonder if the NWA know what it is, personally I have visions of Muta and Hart throwing balls at stuffed dragons in a fairground setting, that can't be right though, can it? I don't get to find out as Eddie Gilbert comes to the ring and lobs a fireball meant for Muta at some poor jobber, nice one Eddie, now that mystery will never be solved.
George South & Cougar Jay VS The Ding Dongs
Remember how I said after that last match that things will only get better? I've never had the pleasure of witnessing The Ding Dongs before, in fact for all I know this might be the only match they ever had but their name and gimmick is legendary. I'd read in the Wrestlecrap book of lists about this pair but whilst that particular list placed The Ding Dongs at number three and The Red Rooster at number one worst gimmick ever, I have to disagree with R.D and Blade, in fact The Ding Dongs make the Rooster look like f*cking Shaft in the cool stakes!! Coming to the ring like a pair of Orange Gimps the Ding Dongs are called so, because they have bells attached to them, which chime annoyingly throughout the match, I say throughout the match but that's not strictly true, as the bells seem to have been attached to the Dongs with blu-tack as they quickly and surely fall off covering the ring mat.
So distracted am I by the 'bad Conquistadors' as I'm dubbing them (imagine that), that I don't actually know who won this debacle, lets say it was The Ding Dongs and move on.
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| WTF?? |
Both of these teams were great and this is the second tag team tournament semi-final match.
Going back to my earlier point both of these teams had really cool music and it lets you know straight away what these guys are all about , the SST seem so fierce and dangerous (pun) in this guise managed by Paul.E, a far cry from the Headshrinkers gimmick they were known by later.
The Express are the first team to settle and take early control of this match, it shapes up to be a barnstormer from the off with both teams telling a good story. I really miss tag team wrestling, it's such an after thought these days and I can't understand how those in control of booking for the bigger companies couldn't watch this and be inspired to once again build a strong tag division. Anyway...
The SST fight back and pound the Express, including a great snap suplex on the concrete floor, even when a mistake is made after Bobby Eaton of the Express moves sending one of the SST into the ring post the Midnight Express fail to make any noted comeback, however just when it seems that the Samoan Swat Team will take the victory the Road Warriors appear and take down the Samoans with a double clothesline (seems kinda weak to me) allowing the Midnight Express to get the pin.
Good Match
Terry Gordy VS Dr. Death Steve Williams
This is an old fashioned slugfest as these two rhinos collide, in fact I'm sure the ring does actually move at one point after one particular Gordy charging clothesline in the corner. This is no thrills brawling at its finest. Jim Ross remarks at some point in the match that both men are in their 20's...I actually chuckled at this thinking it was good old JR making the two hagged figures before me appear more sprightly than they actually are, but no after checking Jim was right Williams is 29 and Gordy 28 at this point, they both look about 40.
And for young men they sure like resting, after the initial flurry of brawling both men are clearly knackered and Williams gets Gordy in a 3 hour headlock whilst they catch their second wind, before brawling into the crowd where both men are counted out.
Fairly Enjoyable brawling non the less.
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| The Kids are alright! |
Mike Justice VS Norman The Lunatic
Teddy Long, looking remarkably like Stevie Wonder here, brings out Norman for what appears to be his WCW debut. The man who would go on to gain infamy as Bastion Booger in the WWF wins in 47 seconds with a big splash into the corner. His departure from the ring lasts slightly longer as he is coaxed by Long and a team of medical staff onto a stretcher and taken back to the mental home, hardly just reward for a debut win it has to be said.
The King of The Hill battle royale at the upcoming Great American Bash is explained - it sounds very confusing, what's wrong with a standard battle royale???
Mike Rotunda & Kevin Sullivan VS The Steiner Bros
Remember General Stiner from the beginning of the show? Well it's here that Jim Ross with a strange tone of concern tells us that the wrestling Steiner Brothers are no relation, that's right, General STINER is no relation to the STEINER Brothers. Thanks Jim, I had wondered.
The match starts with both teams going back and forth before Scott Steiner is dumped out of the ring and on to the announce table, Jim Ross turns director here and says we need to see a shot of 'the kids back' as it's 'cut and bruised', this falls on typically deaf ears though with those in the production truck as we never get the glorious shot of Scott's back, I can't help but feel that the other major wrestling company in the north wouldn't have made this mistake here.
I'll also mention at this point how much I enjoy Mike Rotunda's work, he's always super slick and solid in the ring. Anyway, Sullivan and Rotunda have control of the injured Scott till he finally manages to get the hot tag to Rick, the elder brother comes in with a head of steam but it is a short lived comeback, and when the ref is distracted long enough for Rotunda to suplex Scott onto a steel chair it's the future Irwin R. Shyster and Sullivan that take the win.
Best match so far from a wrestling point of view.
Classic Cornette interview next where he tells us that if the Midnight Express ever woke up next to one of the Fabulous Freebirds women, they would chew their own arms off to escape the sleeping beasts. HaHaHa. Best talker in the business!
Sting VS Wild Bill Irwin
Television Title Match
Standard quick win for the Stinger here, winning via a stinger splash into the corner before a roll-up cradle for the pin.
A Scott Hall promo video plays here. The L.O.D one earlier was great and there was a Brian Pillman effort that did a similar job. This on the other hand is just bizarre, it depicts the future 'bad guy' messing about with Alligators, well not messing about so much as ambling in their general direction, sort of. And it's all set to 'When the going gets tough' by Billy Ocean.
The Fabulous Freebirds VS The Midnight Express
Tag-team Tournament Final
Paul E. appears and nails Cornette with a loaded tennis racket as the Express make their way to the ring, he's taken to the back unconscious by the Dynamic Dudes (all the medical staff must have still been dealing with Norman) and the Express are gonna have to do battle without their mastermind.
It doesn't seem to affect them too much though as the Midnight Express take the early initiative, but the 'birds once again take some time to draw some heat from the crowd and use this break in the action to get back into the match and set about taking control. A sweet DDT from Lane on Hayes appears to have turned the tide back in favour of the Midnight Express, but when the refs back is turned Terry Gordy who had been at ringside comes into the ring and powerbombs Eaton allowing Garvin to get the pin.
Terry Funk Vs Ricky Steamboat
The match starts with both former NWA Champs chopping at each others chests. Terry Funk is ageless, he seems to have been the age he is here forever and he's ancient here. Both men trade moves and the upper hand until the Funker takes control with some trademark dirty stomps and punches.
Steamboat trys to fight back but Funk pounds him down each time, until a ax handle from the top rope to the floor shifts momentum, the Dragon then scoops up Funk and carries him round the entire perimeter of the ring, now despite Ross doing his best to promote this as sound wrestling and the work of a brilliant mind it seems like a massive waste of both time and energy to me.
Funk refuses to be bettered though and fights his way back into the match before delivering a piledriver to steamboat who unbelievably kicks out, there's a ref bump and whilst the official lays fallen Funk takes the opportunity to deliver a second piledriver to Ricky, this time onto the cold hard arena floor. Steamboat again kicks out showing the kind of testicular fortitude he was renowned for.
Out of frustration Funk grabs the announcers microphone from ringside and nails Steamboat and is duly disqualified, handing the victory to the fallen Dragon. The Funker isn't finished though and looks set to hand out more punishment to Steamboat, but at this moment Lex Luger hits the ring and makes the save...or so it seems, in actual fact Luger after helping Steamboat up proceeds to clothesline and beat Ricky before placing him in the dreaded torture rack submission hold, and Luger's Heel turn is complete.
In conclusion a good event that whilst never spectacular was well paced enough to keep my interest throughout and had 2 or 3 good matches.
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| My super glossy copy |
